


Photograph

by Thraceadams



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-23 18:05:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/253273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thraceadams/pseuds/Thraceadams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam and Brad go out and a photo is taken.  The photo and subsequent Twitter explosion causes Tommy to question whatever it is that he and Adam have together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Photograph

**Disclaimers/Archive:** These people are NOT mine. Adam is his own Glittery self and Tommy is just too presh for words. I'm not making any profit, I'm only doing this for fun. We are active duty military living in base housing and therefore have NO money, so please don't sue.

I would ask that this not be archived anywhere other than my LJ and DW. If you wish to archive it elsewhere, please ask. This is a fictional story about real people. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT tweet them a link to this, tweet their friends or relatives a link to this, or in any other way let them know this fic even exists. If you would like to make one copy for your own personal use, that is fine, please do not redistribute, copy, or in any way claim as your own.

Alas, RL is still kicking [](http://buttononthetop.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**buttononthetop**](http://buttononthetop.dreamwidth.org/) 's ass but she was a doll and beta'd this for me. A big thank you goes out to [](http://the-minx-17.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**the_minx_17**](http://the-minx-17.dreamwidth.org/) for her hand holding, guidance and much needed encouragement while I was writing this fic. Any mistakes you find are purely mine.

PLEASE DO NOT LINK/COPY/SHARE/WHATEVER THIS ANYWHERE. THANK YOU.

 ****

Photograph

Tommy's brow furrowed in concentration as he opened the next box. It had been a long tiring day helping Adam unpack after moving all his shit over the day before. And of course this box was full of photo albums. He closed it back up again to look at the writing on the outside. Sure enough, right there in Leila's swirly handwriting was "Living Room: Photo Albums." He opened it again and sat down, crossing his legs and making himself comfortable. There was a built-in bookcase nearby and he figured Adam would probably want them there, the bottom shelf seemed the most likely place as it was the tallest.

He started pulling the albums out of the box and piling them up beside it. He was making good progress until his pile got too big and it toppled over, the top book opening up right to the middle. He stared down at the pictures. He'd seen some of them before, but there were several that were new to him. They were pictures of Brad and Adam. Together.

He paused then, pulling the photo album into his lap and paging through it. He smiled at the pictures. Brad and Adam certainly did like to get dressed up and have fun. He ran a finger over one of the pictures. Adam had purple hair and was wearing a red jacket. Brad had on a brown skirt and Adam's hand was on his ass. Tommy'd seen the picture before, but every single time it hit him in the gut, just how right Brad and Adam seemed together.

He'd heard all the stories, about how Adam wanted something more serious, how Brad wasn't really ready to settle down. Whatever happened between them, they had something special and they still did. It was one of the things that made him fall for Adam in the first place. Adam didn't burn bridges. Sure, Adam told him there'd been a bit of a rough patch right after he and Brad broke up, but they were close friends now. Brad was truly happy for Adam's success and vice versa.

But Tommy still couldn't help the uneasy feeling in his stomach. Brad had let Adam explore his more flamboyant side, flaunt it even. They'd been so right for each other and had so much history and were still so close that thinking about them scared him sometimes.

Tommy and Adam still hadn't exactly defined or labeled what was happening between them. Whatever it was, it had started on tour and they were trying to fit that into their real lives back home and were finding it hard. They weren't in each other's back pockets anymore, they weren't kissing on stage almost every night, and they weren't sleeping together every night either.

Tommy had his own apartment, and after today Adam had his new permanent place and things were just different. And there was Brad, an ever present force in Adam's world, sparkly and larger than life. How the fuck was anyone supposed to live up to that? It wasn't that Tommy didn't like Brad because it was practically impossible not to, it's just that he intimidated the hell out of him and when it came to Adam, frankly Brad scared him.

Tommy thought he might be a little in love with Adam and when he compared himself to Brad, he knew he just didn't measure up. Looking at the pictures, knowing how open and free Adam was back then, Tommy knew Adam would never be like that with him. Maybe it was because Adam had changed, maybe it was because Tommy wasn't Brad. Either way, it made him sad and scared and worried. But he couldn't hate Brad, not with the way Adam felt about him, not with how happy Adam was when he was around Brad and not with how much Brad himself had taken him under his wing.

Tommy closed the photo album when he heard the two people he'd been thinking about arguing as they came down the stairs.

"That picture is never going to work there."

"Brad, you don't know what you're talking about. It's going to look fine there. Just wait until everything else is up."

Tommy turned to look at them just in time to see Brad roll his eyes. "I'm telling you, the colors are all wrong and it puts out the wrong vibe for that room. It should go down here someplace."

Adam sighed and Tommy grinned. He recognized that sigh. It was Adam's 'I'm going to humor you just so you stop arguing with me' sigh. "Okay, okay. I'll see if I can't find a place for it down here."

A triumphant smile broke out over Brad's face as he clapped his hands enthusiastically before throwing his arms around Adam's neck. "See, I told you, you'll see. It will work perfectly down here. Trust me."

Adam wrapped an arm around Brad's waist and shot Tommy a pleading look. Tommy chuckled softly and shook his head. Adam glared at him playfully before extracting himself from Brad's embrace. "Why don't we help Tommy with those albums, you can take a walk down memory lane while he and I finish up."

Brad must have liked that because he bounded right over to Tommy's side and started flipping through the photo albums, making excited noises when he found pictures he was in.

With the two of them working and Brad chattering on excitedly at each new photo album they unearthed, they were able to get the job done relatively quickly. When they were finished, Adam stood up, his hands on his hips and looked around. "I think we did it. That was the last box right?"

Tommy nodded, wiping his dusty hands on his pants. "Yup. I should probably get going. You've got that thing with Lane tonight right?"

"Yeah, and then more interviews tomorrow and the next day."

Tommy shrugged. "Okay. I think Monte and I are gonna do some jamming maybe some rehearsals for his next gig."

"When is that?"

"Tuesday."

Adam pouted. "Shit, I’m supposed to go to Mr. Black's that night, I was kinda hoping you'd go with me?"

Brad rolled his eyes. "Seriously? He wouldn't like that place, you know that."

Tommy smiled at Brad gratefully.

"You don't like Mr. Black's?" Adam asked him in surprise.

Tommy shrugged. "Honestly? I don't know, I mean I've never been there. You said you went there a lot before the tour, but we've only been home for a little while and, I know you went with Cam that one night and she had a good time. But I can't, at least not until after the gig, and by that time you'll probably be having so much fun you won't notice I'm not there."

Adam stared at him for a moment. "Okay, if you're sure."

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, you go, have fun. Call me tomorrow?"

Adam stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. "Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow, after lunch, you know when I wake up."

Tommy laughed, the sound muffled by Adam's shirt. He inhaled, loving the scent that washed over him. It was Adam and sweat and whatever cologne he was wearing today and it made his heart beat just a tiny bit faster. He pulled out of Adam's embrace and started toward the door. "Bye, Brad."

"Bye, blondie."

Tommy laughed and Adam followed him, stopping him at the door.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Tommy stared up into those blue eyes that were shaded with concern right now. He smiled. "Yeah, I'm good, I just – I wanna go, but I – Monte's gigs are important to me."

"I know, baby, I forgot you had a gig on Tuesday. You know I have enough trouble keeping up with my schedule, and it feels like I only go where Lane tells me to these days." Adam rubbed a hand up and down his arm before closing around his elbow and pulling him close. "Tell Monte I said hello, okay?"

Tommy nodded, the action cut short when Adam pressed their lips together. Tommy opened up to him immediately, like he did every time Adam kissed him. It wasn't a long kiss, one might even call it a tame kiss especially in comparison to some of the kisses they'd shared on the tour, but either way it was all Adam. His tongue swept into Tommy's mouth, his hand pulled Tommy close, and Tommy's heart pounded, the blood rushing in his ears. And then it was over and Tommy was flushed and breathless. Adam grinned and opened the door for him, smacking him on the ass as he walked out.

"Be good, Tommy Joe. I'll call you tomorrow."

Tommy raised his hand to wave and walked out to his car, his ass tingling and his lips feeling well-kissed. He got behind the wheel, waving again to Adam who was still standing with the front door open. Tommy smiled as he pulled out of the driveway and headed for home.

 ****

~*~*~

The next few days went by in a blur. Tommy spent a lot of time jamming with Monte and Warren getting ready for the next gig. He and Adam talked on the phone or via text but Adam's schedule was so busy they didn't get to see each other at all and then it was Tuesday and Tommy was headed out to Monte's gig.

The show was at Molly Malone's and Tommy really liked the place. It was intimate, the fans were right there and he could feel the enthusiasm coming from the crowd. It always left him in a happy mood. There were lots of familiar faces, even Liz was there. Allison showed up and joined them on stage for a couple of songs and the crowd screamed with delight. By the end of the set Tommy was buzzing on happiness.

After the bartender handed him a drink, he thumbed his phone on, looking through his twitter feed. He wasn't surprised to see it had exploded, it always did after he played. What was confusing were all the picture links and questions about if he knew what Adam was doing and what was going on with Brad.

His heart started to pound a little bit harder, as he waited for the picture to load, he tried not to let his mind wander into the dark corners it sometimes habited. When the picture loaded, his heart jumped up into his throat and his stomach dropped like a stone to his feet.

In all actuality, the picture was probably completely innocent. Adam had his arm around Brad's waist and was looking down at him, both of them were smiling and completely oblivious of the camera. But it was the look on their faces that knocked the wind out of Tommy. The look of love and adoration was so evident that it made Tommy want to throw up. Couple that with the hundreds of tweets he was getting about Bradam being back together and even more tweets telling him to fuck off and get out of Adam's life and he felt his knees start to buckle. He barely managed to sit down on the stool behind him.

He couldn't hear the noise in the bar anymore. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears and all he could see was the picture on his phone. So when he felt a hand on his shoulder he almost jumped out of his skin. He looked up into Monte's smiling face, watched the smile slide right off to be replaced by a look of concern.

"You okay? You look like someone just punched you in the gut, man."

Tommy quickly thumbed the picture closed, swallowed hard and gave Monte a weak smile. "Yeah, yeah, um, I think that last drink just hit me hard is all. Really haven't eaten anything since lunch."

He looked around nervously, really not wanting to be surrounded by a bunch of fans right now, no matter how much he loved them, he just couldn't deal with them right now. "Um, I'm not feeling too good. I think I'm gonna call it a night, head home, maybe grab something to eat and try to get some sleep."

Monte squeezed his shoulder. "Okay, man, that's cool. I hope you feel better. Call me tomorrow?"

Tommy nodded, pushed his half-full drink back at the bartender and stood up. "Yeah, sure, I'll call you tomorrow. Thanks, man, tonight was great. Thanks."

"No problem. Feel better."

Tommy smiled wanly and started moving through the bar toward the back. He smiled at some fans, stopped for a few pictures but begged off the drink offers and other things. He hugged Liz, told her he wasn't feeling good, kissed her on the cheek and said he'd see her around. He made his way to the back, grabbed his bass and headed out the back door to his car.

The chilled night air hit him and he realized just how upset he was when the breeze started drying the cold sweat that had beaded up on his skin. He stowed his bass in the trunk and opened the car door. He sat behind the steering wheel, the key in the ignition and just stared out the window.

He'd been sitting like that for about fifteen minutes when his phone buzzed. He answered it without even looking at the caller id.

"Hey, blondie," Brad's cheerful voice came through the line.

Tommy winced and swallowed hard against the bile that rose up in his throat.

"Brad. You need something?" He couldn't even disguise the coldness in his voice.

"Yeah, we're done at Mr. Black's wondering if you want to join us for a midnight snack. You in?"

Tommy rubbed a hand over his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose, resisting the urge to scream into the phone. "No, no, you two go ahead and have fun. Sounds like you're already doing that and I don't want to intrude. I'll talk to you later." He hung up the phone.

He threw his phone on the seat, started the engine, and roared out of the parking lot towards home.

 ****

~*~*~

Brad hung up his phone and looked at Adam.

"What'd he say?"

Brad frowned. "So weird. He was almost rude to me. Said for us to go ahead and have fun and that he didn't want to intrude."

"Did the show not go well?"

"He never even gave me the chance to ask him."

"Hmmm," Adam sighed.

Brad shrugged. "Maybe he's just tired. You know how exhausting shows can be. Maybe he just  
needs a good night's sleep."

"Maybe."

Brad slipped his phone back into his pocket and turned to smile at Adam. "So, we still gonna get that coffee?"

Adam grinned but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He slid his arm back around Brad's waist.  
"Yeah, sure, let's go."

 ****

~*~*~

Tommy locked his car and slammed in through the door.

"That you, Tommy?" Mike called out from the living room.

Tommy just grunted in response, heading right for the kitchen, his only thought on getting a nice cold beer into his hands and hoping that it would make the sick feeling in his stomach go away. He twisted the lid off and took a swig, the cool liquid wetting his dry mouth as he swallowed it greedily.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and tried to ignore the weight of his phone in his pocket or the laptop that seemed to be screaming his name from his bedroom. He could see the picture in his head, in fact every time he closed his eyes it was there torturing him and yet some sick masochistic part of him wanted to troll the internet, look at the picture from different angles, and read all the horrible things that people were probably tweeting him.

"Tommy? You wanna play some Red Dead Redemption?"

Tommy closed his eyes, the word no on his lips except his voice betrayed him. "Yeah, sure, I'll be right there."

He closed his eyes taking another swig of the beer. "Fuck," he muttered underneath his breath. Why the fuck had he said yes? He clutched the bottle tighter, his knuckles going white as his hand itched to get out his phone and thumb through Twitter.

"You coming, man?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there. Just give me a minute."

He set the bottle on the counter, gave in and pulled out his phone. His heart pounded and he felt a cold sweat break out over his upper lip as he thumbed the Twitter app and looked at his @ replies. Each one made him feel more sick than the previous one. If it wasn't people telling him Bradam was real and to stay away from Adam, it was fans tweeting him love and sympathy and trying to fill his feed with that instead.

Tommy tossed his phone on the counter and bent over, resting his hands on his knees and letting his head hang down. He concentrated on breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth and willed his stomach back under control. He really didn't want to have to clean up the floor, not tonight. How pathetic would that be?

"You okay?"

Tommy looked up to see Mike standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Yeah, I'm – um, no. I'm not feeling good. Um, can I take a raincheck on the game? I think I'm just gonna head to bed, see if maybe I can sleep it off."

Mike studied him for a minute before finally nodding his head. "Okay, are you sure you're okay?"

Tommy nodded and waved him off. "Yeah, go, I'm fine."

"Okay."

He watched as Mike left the room and headed back out to the living area. Tommy grabbed the beer and his phone and retreated to his bedroom.

 ****

~*~*~

Once Brad and Adam were in the car, Brad pulled out his phone and started thumbing through Twitter. "Oh, fuck."

Adam looked over at him as he turned the key in the ignition. "Something wrong?"

Brad turned his phone over so Adam could see. There it was. A picture of the two of them looking very cozy with the caption, _Is Bradam back together?_ Adam rolled his eyes. "You know I could probably pick up some hobo off the street and they would assume I was fucking him. Fucking media."

Brad studied the picture for a moment. "It's a good picture of us. We're very photogenic."

Adam snorted.

"Wait, do you think this was why Tommy was weird on the phone earlier?"

Adam turned to look at him. "Why would Tommy be weird about that picture?"

This time it was Brad's turn to roll his eyes. "Honey, that boy has it so bad for you, how can you not see it? Have you guys even talked about what you're doing together?"

"No. Do you really think so?"

Brad shot Adam a glare, the one that said Adam was being a stupid idiot.

"What?" Adam asked.

Brad huffed out a sigh. "You have seen the way he looks at you, right? He looks at you like there's nobody else in the entire world. When you enter a room, his eyes go right to you and never leave."

"So, what, you think he saw that picture and is freaking like everyone else that Bradam is back together?"

Brad shrugged noncommittally. "I'm just telling you what I see."

"Call him back. Ask him to come out with us again. Feel him out."

"Okay." Brad thumbed the speed dial for Tommy. "Idiot," he muttered while he waited for the line to start ringing.

 ****

~*~*~

Tommy lay on his bed staring at his ceiling. He'd changed into a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt so at least he was comfortable, even if his stomach still hurt. The thing was no matter how much he tried not to think about it he couldn't make the queasy feeling go away.  
His laptop cast an eerie blue glow in his room. It kept flashing with each new tweet that included his name. At least his feed had slowed down, for now. He knew it would go in waves as more and more people got wind of the picture as Europe started to wake up and start its day.

Tommy sighed, giving up and flicking his eyes at the screen again. Unfortunately he caught a few of the more hateful tweets, the ones talking about how Bradam was clearly true love and Tommy should leave Adam the fuck alone so he and Brad could go off and get married or some such shit. He rubbed his forehead with his palm, closing his eyes.

There was that tiny part of him that thought maybe, just maybe, those people were right. Adam was out with Brad and Brad was **out** unlike him. Maybe that was what Adam needed, someone who was out and comfortable with himself like Brad was. Tommy was still trying to figure things out.

He liked girls but he loved Adam, of that he was sure. He was attracted to Adam, and although he'd been attracted to guys in the past, this was the first time he'd ever really acted on that attraction. Adam had joked about him being Tommy's only exception and there were times that Tommy wondered if it was actually true.

He wondered if he was holding Adam back or if Adam was holding himself back for Tommy. They'd never really sat down and talked about this thing between them, they just did things. They went out, they kissed, they fucked on occasion, but they never talked about what it meant. And now, seeing all these pictures and tweets about Brad and Adam made him wonder if maybe he should just step back so Adam could be happy with someone he didn't have to hide.

He'd just shut his laptop down and was sliding under the covers when his phone rang again. He picked it up off the table and saw Brad's name on the display. He pinched the bridge of his nose and considered not answering it. But Brad was with Adam and if he didn't answer one or both of them would just keep calling until he either answered or threw his phone across the room shattering it into a million pieces. So he took a deep breath and slid his thumb over the screen.

"Hey, blondie, Adam and I are on our way to IHOP you sure you don't want to come? It's your favorite."

Tommy's gut clenched at the friendly sing-song tone of Brad's voice. He pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead.

"Tommy?" Brad's concerned voice flooded his ear.

"I'm here," he whispered.

"I told you, idiot." Brad's voice was muffled over the line.

"Did you just call me an idiot?" Tommy asked incredulously.

Brad sighed into the phone. "No, I called Adam an idiot. Because he is. It's obvious you've seen the latest twat explosion and turned into Mr. McBroodyPants. So, you don't want to come out, that's fine. I'm not going to make you. But you two are going to talk and soon because if you don't, I'm locking you both in a room together. Oh, maybe the two of you could wrestle it out, I'll bring the oil, as long as you let me watch."

Tommy pulled the phone away from his head and glared at it. Sometimes it was like Brad spoke an entirely different language. "Brad, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But you're right, I don't want to go out tonight. I'm tired, I'm in a shitty mood, and I just want –"

"You just want to be emo and brood about it. I get that, sweetie, but just so you know, there's nothing going on. He and I tried that before remember?"

"How could I forget," Tommy mumbled softly to himself.

Brad continued talking right over him. "And it didn't work out. We're way better off as friends. Anyway, you get your brood on or whatever it is you do, and I'll make sure he's over there to see you tomorrow. Bye."

Brad hung up before Tommy could even protest. He scowled at the phone for a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh and dropping it onto the bed beside him. He lay there for a few minutes before finally curling up on his side, drawing his knees up to his chest and closing his eyes, willing sleep to overtake him.

 ****

~*~*~

Brad locked his phone and slid it back into his pocket. He shot a glare over at Adam. "I told you. He's seen that picture and totally freaking about it. He's over at his place brooding. And don't even think about going there."

Adam shot him a worried look, but kept the car headed toward the restaurant.

"Give him some space, some time, let him brood. Then tomorrow you go over there with coffee, his favorite breakfast burrito, whatever blondie likes and the two of you can talk, you need to figure out what's going on between you. Because it is obvious from his reaction that he does NOT want you out with someone else. EXCLUSIVE. That's what you are, you're just too dense to realize it." Brad shook his head. "I swear, how the hell did you two survive the tour?"

 ****

~*~*~

Tommy rubbed his eyes sleepily, squinting against the sunlight coming in through the window. He looked around, trying to figure out what had woken him when the sound came again.

"Tommy?"

He sat up, staring down at himself, realizing he'd slept on top of the covers instead of underneath them. He wrinkled his nose a bit, thinking he could still smell beer. "Yeah, Mike, you need something?"

"Um, Adam's here."

 _Fuck!_ Tommy looked around the room, saw his laptop and his phone lying discarded on the bed.

"Tommy? You want me to tell him you're sleeping? Or something?"

Tommy's shoulders slumped. "No," he said quietly. "Tell him I'll be out in a couple of minutes."

"Okay."

He heard Mike move away from the door and he ran a hand through his hair. If Mike took Adam to the living room he could probably sneak into the bathroom without being seen. At least make himself look somewhat presentable. Not that it mattered. He closed his eyes, trying desperately not to think about that damn picture. He shook his head in defeat and opened his eyes. He opened his dresser drawer and grabbed clean underwear, jeans, and a t-shirt.

Tommy opened the door quietly and slipped out, padding softly to the bathroom. He shut the door quickly and looked in the mirror. His eyes were still a bit red and puffy and they had dark circles under them. He needed a shave in the worst way and his hair was sticking up at odd angles. No wonder Adam was more interested in someone like Brad. He probably woke up sparkling and looking amazing.

Tommy sighed and yanked down his sleep pants to take a leak and put on his jeans. He brushed his teeth and tried to tame his hair. He dragged the clean t-shirt over his head deciding to give up on his hair. He grabbed his dirty clothes and left the bathroom. He tossed the dirty stuff back into his bedroom, ran a hand through his hair one last time and went out to the living room.

Adam was seated on the couch leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, looking distinctly uncomfortable. There was coffee and a bag from Corner Cottage sitting on the table. Tommy's stomach growled and lurched all at the same time when the smell hit him.

"Um, Mike said he had to go run some errands."

Tommy quirked an eyebrow and looked at the clock on the wall. "At nine am on a Wednesday morning? On his day off?"

Adam shrugged. "That's just what he told me," his voice took on a defensive tone.

Tommy closed his eyes and sighed. "Look, I can't do this without caffeine in me." He turned to go into the kitchen.

"Wait, the coffee, the coffee's for you. It's your favorite."

Tommy turned back to see Adam holding the coffee on the table out to him. Tommy's heart caught in his chest but he took a step forward and accepted the cup from him. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of it before taking a sip. He let out a little moan of appreciation. He opened his eyes to see Adam staring at him – the look in his eyes one of undisguised want.

"Tommy, I –" Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Will you please sit down, I think we should talk."

Tommy's heart trip hammered in his chest and that sick feeling came back into his stomach, but he sat down on the chair across the room. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, the coffee clutched in his hands.

The silence hung heavy between them. Tommy sipped his coffee and Adam looked at the rings on his fingers.

"So," Adam broke the silence first. "I take it you saw the picture and the twitter explosion that followed."

Tommy snorted. "You think?"

He watched as Adam sighed and dropped his head. "I know Brad told you there was nothing to the picture."

Tommy rolled his eyes, tucked his feet in closer to his body and took another sip of his coffee. "Yeah, I know what Brad said, I was the one on the phone with him remember? I believe he called you an 'idiot'."

Adam glanced up and met his eyes and Tommy saw the flash of hurt that sped through them before quickly disappearing behind the blank wall Adam was putting up. He looked away, unable to keep watching the neutral look Adam got when he didn't want to engage. It made his gut twist and his heart ache because if Adam didn't care enough to engage, then maybe…

"Look, that picture was completely innocent. Brad and I are friends. That's all. Nothing more," Adam ground out defensively.

Tommy curled his free hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm and swallowing hard over the lump in his throat. He watched, peering up through his fringe as Adam stood up and started to pace, occasionally running a frustrated hand through his hair. Adam stopped and turned to him, his hands on his hips and anger flaring in his eyes.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Tommy Joe. What do you want me to do? I'm not gonna stop being friends with Brad. I'm not gonna stop hanging out with him. So what the fuck do you want me to do?"

Tommy flinched as Adam's voice got louder with each phrase, blinking against the hot rush of hurt and angry tears that threatened to spill over. The anger finally won out and he slammed the coffee cup down onto the table and stood up, hands clenched in fists at his sides. "I don't know, Adam! Maybe stop hanging on him like you two are attached at the hip? Stop fucking looking at him like he hung the moon or some shit? I mean, fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to compete with that? I don't even know what the fuck we're doing. Are we friends? Are we fuck buddies? Are we friends with benefits? Are we something else entirely? I don't fucking know. All I know is I can't fucking compete with the sparkling God of Gayness himself."

"I thought you liked Brad?"

"I do, that's why this is so fucked! I can't fucking hate either one of you for wanting to be together. You're fucking perfect for each other. The only one I can fucking hate is myself for thinking I was good enough, for thinking we had something. I mean, what the hell was I thinking? That you, Adam Fucking Lambert, would fall for a crazy ass, tattooed, horror movie freak like me? I'm not out, I'm not proud, hell, only the people on tour, my roommates, and my family know that I even like guys. It was fucking hard to tell my Mom that, after everything, but I did it, I did it for you."

A laugh escaped, high pitched and tinged with just a bit of hysteria. "I fucking told my Mom I thought I might be bi because of you. I've liked guys before, she knew that, but I'd never actually acted on it, I always preferred girls. Until you. You came along and knocked me right on my ass. I thought maybe just maybe you were why no one ever felt right before. Because whatever we have –" Tommy waved his hand between them. "Whatever this is, it feels right. At least it did."

He paused to take a deep breath and Adam spoke. "And it doesn't now?"

Tommy ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I don't know. Is there even a 'we'? I don't even fucking know." He turned to look at Adam, met his eyes, stared into them. "Did it mean something? Us, I mean?" he asked, his voice slipping out in a whisper.

"Yes, yes it did, "Adam answered without even hesitating. He took a step toward Tommy, who stepped back.

"Really? Because, it doesn't fucking look like it to me." He ran a hand through his hair again. "So fucking stupid, when did I become such a whiny girl?" Adam reached out again and Tommy shrugged out of his grasp. "Don't touch me, just don't."

Adam rolled his fingers into a fist and dropped his hand to his side. "I – I don't know what you want me to say, I just – wait – what did you say?"

Tommy turned and looked at him in confusion. Adam stood with his eyes closed, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"You said you understand why Brad and I would want to be together." Adam's eyes opened, anger flashing inside them. "Brad and I are not together. We're just friends. I know he talked to you about this on the phone, while I was being an idiot as both of you so aptly put it. We tried the boyfriend thing and although we were in love and I still love him, I'm no longer **in** love with him. I haven't been for a very long while. And how dare you say you're not good enough to be with me! How dare you say that! If anything, I'm not good enough for you. I have a shit ton of baggage. I have a lifestyle that most people would probably hate. I can't go anywhere without my picture being taken, I can't say or do anything without it being analyzed by the media and my fans, and all my friends and family get the same treatment. You know that. You've been a victim of it from the start. If anything, you should be telling me you don't need my shit and not to let the door hit me on the ass on the way out."

Adam paused to take a breath and Tommy watched as he took a step closer to him. His eyes had lost the anger now and they had a vulnerable look in them that so few people ever saw. It made Tommy's heart stop for just a moment seeing it directed at him.

"I really hope you don't though," Adam whispered.

"Why?" Tommy asked softly.

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

Tommy looked up at him then, stared into those blue eyes, sure his own were begging for the answer to his question.

"Because you're you," Adam said simply. He started to pace again, obviously trying to put his thoughts into words. "You love me for who I am, and I mean, me, Adam, not –" He stopped then, turned to face Tommy and used his fingers to make air quotes. "Not 'Adam Fucking Lambert' but me. You put up with all of my shit, my temper tantrums, my anal perfectionism, hell, you even put up with Neil. You know me – you know I have my diva moments, you know I need my alone time, you know I need hugs and touching like most people need air. You listen to me moan about the record people, rant about the paparazzi, complain about not being able to eat what I want all the time because I'll get fat again."

He stopped pacing and turned to face Tommy. Tommy chewed his lower lip nervously, waiting, knowing Adam wasn't finished yet.

"You make me smile. You think I haven't seen all the videos? Nobody makes me smile like you do. You hug with your whole body and you kiss me like there's no tomorrow. You cuddle into me just when I need it the most and, fuck, the way you look at me."

Tommy watched as Adam's eyes went shiny.

"You look at me like I hung the fucking moon and the stars and told the sun to shine every day just for you. How do you do that? Why? I don't fucking deserve it, but you do it anyway." His voice went rough as it broke over the last few words.

Tommy was quiet, mulling Adam's words over in his head. Adam's ragged breathing was the only sound splitting the silence in the room.

"I really do all that?" he asked quietly.

Adam laughed softly, a rueful smile gracing his face. "Yeah, you really do."

Tommy dropped his eyes to the floor, smiling.

"Look, I know we haven't talked about what we are, what we have, but whatever it is, whatever you wanna call it, it doesn't matter. What matters is that we have it, that we **still** have it," Adam pleaded. "Tell me we still have it, Tommy. Please?"

Tommy looked at him, stared hard into his eyes. He could see the longing in them, the almost desperate edge of need in them and underneath it all, the vulnerability that Adam always tried so hard to hide. It floored him, overwhelmed him that he could put that look in Adam's eyes. Without even really thinking he found himself nodding slowly, his voice coming out raspy and choked with emotion.

"Yeah, we still have it, we still have it."

Before he even finished speaking he was crushed up against Adam's chest, Adam's arms around him holding him tight and Adam's scent surrounding him. He burrowed into Adam's shirt, ignoring the tears that had finally spilled over. He fisted his hands in Adam's jacket, clinging to him, not wanting to let go.

"Fuck, Tommy, I thought I'd lost you," Adam whispered into his hair.

"I'm right here, you didn't lose me. I thought you'd left me," Tommy's voice floated up, muffled by Adam's chest.

Adam's arms tightened around him. "Not leaving you, baby, never."

The sick feeling in Tommy's belly drained away and his heart finally started beating again and it left him feeling drained and exhausted. They stood wrapped in each other's arms for several minutes when Adam started to talk again.

"I guess we need to talk, figure this out a little bit so things like this don't happen again."

Tommy nodded into his chest but didn't let go. Adam kissed the top of his head. "You wanna start?"

Tommy swallowed hard, grateful that his face was buried in Adam's chest. He took a deep breath and then shook his head. Adam laughed softly, his hands rubbing up and down Tommy's back soothingly.

"Okay, I'll start. I got my ass handed to me by Brad last night both before and after he talked to you. He called me an idiot, you knew that already, but he also told me I was dense as fuck and blind as a bat too. Said it was obvious that we were exclusive – obvious to everyone but the two of us. Told me that if we didn't talk and figure things out he was going to call Sutan and Terrance and they were going to stage some sort of intervention on us."

Tommy snorted with laughter and pulled back to look up at Adam. "That sounds like Brad."

Adam let go of his waist and brought a hand up to hold his chin, forcing him to continue looking into Adam's eyes. "Was he right? Are we exclusive? Is that what you want?"

Tommy squirmed and tried to look away, not wanting to be this honest, this open, this vulnerable. But Adam was right there, forcing it. "Yes," he whispered.

He watched as Adam's face lit up, his eyes going bright and happy and a huge smile breaking out over his face. "Really? You want that with me?"

Tommy nodded, chewing his lip nervously, the hopeful tone in Adam's voice doing funny things to his insides. "Do you?" He paused. "I mean, want that with me?"

Adam leaned in and pressed their lips together softly, a barely-there kiss, definitely chaste for them. "Yeah, I really do, Tommy," he breathed against Tommy's cheek. "Because of all the reasons I mentioned earlier, but most of all because you make me happy and I wanna make you as happy as I am. So yeah, I want that, so much."

Tommy surged forward then, kissing him, licking into his mouth, dominating the kiss, until Adam's hand found its way to his hair and tugged. A moan slipped out from Tommy's throat as he pulled away, baring his neck to Adam. Adam trailed soft, biting kisses up his neck and back to his mouth. Adam kissed him, moving slow and sure until they were both breathless.

Tommy pulled away from the kiss, arousal coloring his cheeks pink. "So, um, I guess this means we're exclusive now?"

Adam's hands slid down to cup his ass. "You bet your ass and I intend to make sure everyone knows you're mine."

Tommy laughed, letting his head fall forward and rest against Adam's chest. "Whatever, fucking caveman."

Adam pulled back, giving him a mock glare. "Caveman? I'll show you caveman." He let go of Tommy's ass and bent down, putting his shoulder at Tommy's waist. He wrapped his arm around Tommy's legs and grabbed Tommy's arm and hoisted him up in a fireman's carry over his shoulder.

Tommy was too shocked to react at first and then he started laughing, and playfully swatting at Adam's ass. "Put me down, fucker!"

Adam started walking back to Tommy's bedroom. "Not until I've had my caveman way with you."

Tommy rolled his eyes and kept laughing. He was still laughing when Adam dropped him on the bed and crawled over him, looking down at him, mischief sparkling in his blue eyes. Tommy reached up and cupped Adam's cheek. Adam's eyes went serious and he turned his head, nuzzling into Tommy's palm and kissing it. "I'm sorry for hurting you," he whispered.

"I'm sorry for being a jealous ass. I really do like Brad," Tommy said quietly.

"I know, he likes you, too, or he wouldn't have kicked my ass so hard about this. And he's a hard act to follow, I get that." Adam paused looking Tommy in the eyes. "You know there's no reason to be jealous, you're not filling his shoes. What we have is completely different."

Tommy's face flushed with pleasure. "Still, I owe him an apology."

Adam leaned down and kissed his nose, making Tommy scrunch his face up. "Baby, he knows."

Tommy shrugged. "Yeah, but still."

"Maybe we can take him out to lunch, give him a bottle of massage oil."

Tommy snorted. "You're evil."

"You love it, baby."

Tommy raised his eyes and looked right into Adam's. "Yeah, I really do." He saw the look of joy in Adam's eyes at his confession and he smiled. "I really do," he repeated softly.

"Me, too," Adam whispered before dropping his head down and capturing Tommy's lips.

Tommy melted right into the kiss, opening his mouth when Adam licked at his lips. He buried his hands in Adam's hair, holding him close, not letting him go.

"Not going anywhere, baby," Adam breathed against his cheek.

"Good, not letting you," Tommy replied, dragging his lips across Adam's jaw.

Adam laughed softly before sealing their mouths together again.

 ****

~*~*~

Tommy sat at one of the outdoor tables, nursing a coffee, his sunglasses on and his iPhone sitting on his leg.

"This seat taken, blondie?"

Tommy's lips curled up into a smile as Brad flounced down into the seat next to him. He watched as Brad signaled to a waiter and proceeded to order some fancy coffee drink that probably didn't actually even have coffee in it.

"So is His Royal Highness here or did he send you to do his dirty work for him, as well?"

Tommy laughed. "Yeah, he's here, he, uh, thought he'd give us a few minutes."

Brad quirked an eyebrow at him and Tommy shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat. "Um, I'm sorry. I acted like a jealous ass the other night and I wanted to apologize to you."

Brad waved a hand at him. "Oh, honey, believe me I understand. It's why you two are so perfect for each other. If I had a dime for every time he got mad at me for even looking at someone else when we were dating." He leaned closer, looking around before whispered. "Believe me, he can be a jealous possessive bastard sometimes."

Tommy snorted and took a sip of his coffee. "So um, are we, like, all right, then?" he asked, chewing his lip nervously.

"Pfft, we were never wrong, sweetie." Brad leaned over and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him in and kissing him noisily on the forehead. "Now, tell that chicken shit boyfriend of yours to get his scrumptious ass out here and join us."

Tommy laughed and picked up his iPhone.

"Oh, and tell him he damn well better have that bottle of massage oil." Brad gave Tommy a wicked look. "He did bring some, right? I mean, I made that dig just so he would."

Tommy just shook his head, laughing, and thumbed a quick text to Adam. "I'll never understand how you do things like that."

Brad smirked. "Because, I am a genius."

Tommy flashed him a grateful look. "Yeah, you really are."

Brad winked at him before turning his attention to Adam who was quickly approaching their table. "Well, if it isn't the head bitch in charge himself, finally deciding to grace us with the presence of his sorry ass."

Adam looked over his shoulder, glancing down at his ass. He turned back frowning. "My ass isn't sorry." He glared at Brad, before turning to Tommy and winking at him.

Brad rolled his eyes. "Whatever, sit your ass down, and give me my present. I know you brought something."

Tommy laughed as he listened to Brad and Adam banter back and forth for a few minutes, smiling when he felt Adam's hand find his and wrap it up in his larger one under the table. He sat back in his chair, sipping his coffee with his free hand and feeling a lightness in his chest he hadn't felt in quite a while.

  
 ****

The End.

  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Photograph (Pod Fic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/982832) by [Wynkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wynkat/pseuds/Wynkat)




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